On trials and joy

Back in hospital.

Back being ill.

Back with things being tough.

But to be honest, though my heart sank when I realised I was getting not so well again, a tiny bit of me felt relieved. You see, I really do struggle spiritually when things get easy and nothing kills my love of gospel like a smooth life.

I’m not trying to be super pious. But these feelings excite me. Perhaps this is what walking along the road of James 1:2 looks like. Maybe this is what it means to count it joy when I meet trials of various kinds.

There’s a part of me that loves the easier life and not a day goes by when I don’t wish for a ‘normal’, healthy, 2.5 children, live long with my husband set up. But the thing is, if I really, deep down, want things to get easier, I know I should just stop praying that we become more faithful, more loving and more like Jesus. And if I look at it that way, it becomes so obvious.
His way is best.
Simple as that.