Small hard things

I sit on my sofa staring out into the world. I see the vivid green of the overgrown lawn. I see the tiny, moving specks of black that are flies hovering over plants. I see the great dark silhouette of a bird of prey. I see the darkening clouds fast approaching. All parts of life.

There’s a wasp in the room with me. He flies back and forth, crashing repeatedly against windows in his desperation to escape. After every crash, he flies back into the big, open space of our sitting room, braces himself and tries again. He sees something better. He wants more. I’ll try not to be offended that he doesn’t seem to enjoy my hospitality.

I sit on my sofa listening to the world. I hear the deep rumble as a train approaches the nearby station and the almighty clatter as it passes through. I hear the slam of a car door as our neighbour returns from her working day. I hear the rustle of the leaves as the wind teases them playfully. All parts of life.

And I am here, alone. Quiet. Peaceful.

Sometimes I like to be alone. There’s beauty and simplicity in a day spent quietly alone. Running errands, clearing up and cleaning, reading, sewing, sitting, thinking, seeing, listening, being. That’s the introvert in me. But at other times the extrovert, tiny little girl that she is, fights her way through and asks to be with people. And at those times, on those days, being alone is a hard thing.

There’s a whole lot of my life that is made up of easy things. Maybe that’s why I notice the hard things and feel them keenly. But it’s ok to notice hard things and to feel hard things. God gives us hard things and expects them to be hard. If they weren’t then they’d be easy things. Doh. And while easy things are good, they don’t help you to do much growing.

Speaking of hard things, I should go and make dinner. Don’t laugh at me. Cooking day in, day out, is a hard thing for me. Hard things can be small. Don’t worry if you find small things hard. It’s ok. That’s fine. But keep at them. Come on, let’s face the hard things together. Jesus is here too. He’s good at hard things.

But first, I’ll just let out that wasp.