Five years. Half a decade. To many people five years might seem just the start of a marriage. But when at the beginning you were expecting two years, five is a gloriously long time. Five is a cup-overflowing, ‘God, how come you love us THIS much’ time.
This year we bought a house. Another unexpected Yes.
‘Father, give us time.’ Yes!
‘Father, we need somewhere to live.’ Yes!
We are told that God is the Father who loves to give good gifts to His children. We see the sparkling, majestic goodness of God in the ‘Yes’s of the last five years. And we also see His goodness, His quiet, persistent, day-by-day kind of goodness, in the ‘No’s.
This past year has had its challenges. My health is far worse and more unstable than it has been before and the future can feel more scary than it has in previous years. As we enter our sixth year of marriage we know more about how little we know. But we know the basics in a deeper, truer, more delightful way. We know that God is all-Sovereign, all-loving, all-caring. We know that He has written our story for us and there is nothing better. And we know that after five years, through richer and poorer, through sickness and health, through better and worse, we love more profoundly and are loved more dearly than we would have ever thought.
I am so grateful to be living my life next to David. I am often astonished by how far his love goes and how tender that love is. I see his love in the glass of juice he brings me every morning without fail, in the tireless way he works to provide for me, in all the oxygen canister carrying that he does. I see his love in the frequent words ‘tell me what I can do for you’, in the exchanging of fun, exciting days out for yet another quiet day with TV and books because it’s all I can do, in the hand that holds mine when things are just too hard for words. It’s there in a thousand different ways. I know that his love makes no sense in the world’s eyes – why he would choose to love someone so small and so broken – and through him, I live the story of the Gospel every day.
I love you, David.