On feeling useless

Today I got dressed and put a load of washing on. That’s pretty much it. Because today has been a bad day.
Today has been a day where the tightness in my chest feels like it’s suffocating me. That’s probably because it is.
Today has been a day where everything has been hard. It took an age to get dressed and another age to trek backwards and forwards to the washing machine with the tiny armfuls of clothes I could manage. All the things that good housewives are meant to do have been left undone. The house is messy, the kitchen surfaces dirty and it’s pizza for dinner.
Today I have felt useless.

It takes a complete reversal of our world’s view of things for me to feel like I mean something. There’s a reason that the elderly, the disabled and the unborn get ignored, or worse, treated as if they’re less than human. I’ve felt it. I’ve met people who don’t value me as much as they would a ‘normal’ person. I’ve conversed with people who would rather not walk with someone if it meant they had to walk more slowly. I’ve read articles by people who think it would have been better if I had not been born.
For them I am useless.

But you only have to take a quick look in the Bible to find that Jesus came for the lame, the blind, the elderly, the ill. Jesus spent time with those people. He cared for them in real ways. The gospel is for the ‘useless’ of this world. And if Jesus came for those ‘useless’ people then they can’t be all that useless after all. If Jesus came to create a kingdom and He chose the ‘useless’ people to fill it, then they must mean something to Him.

In the world’s sight, I may be useless but in my King’s sight, I am precious and I mean something. And that’s what truly matters.

5 thoughts on “On feeling useless

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