Call me strange, but I struggle with having an easy life.
I know, I know, my life doesn’t look that easy. But after a bad spell even the simplest things make my life easier. Being able to get up in 2 hours instead of 3 or 4. Not feeling ill all the time. Having a bit of energy to have people to visit or chat on the phone. Not being tired and thinking about bed all day long. Tiny things they may be but they make a big difference. And the difference they make is not just one of a slightly easier practical life but one of a slightly harder spiritual life.
The thing is, when I have quiet after my storm, when I have downhill strolls after my uphill hike, I slip, quickly and easily, into dissatisfaction. I have time and energy to think about the things that my life is missing. I notice the differences between my life and other people’s. I begin to think that things would be better if only I had a baby, a career, a long life expectancy, or whatever that day’s gripe might be.
You see, when I’m in a hospital room or sitting in our flat able to do nothing, I have to run to God. There’s no other way. When things are hard, it’s obvious we can’t do it alone. When illness pervades my life and my mind can only focus on one thing, it fixes on my Lord.
And that’s why David and I sit on our sofa in the evening and thank our Father for the trials and the hardships. That’s why we feel a little scared when we’re thrust into the world of easy living. And that’s why, in a strange, the-world-wouldn’t-understand kind of way, we look forward to our next lesson. No, we’re not being masochistic or martyr-like. We’re just learning lessons. And right now we’re realising that the best place to be is focusing on God and it’s worth whatever it takes to get there.