A whole lot can happen in a year

One year ago today, I was putting on my beautiful ivory wedding dress, picking up my bouquet and speaking words of wisdom and comfort to my Dad (who was a lot more nervous than I was!) If you’d told me at that moment what this year would bring I would either have not believed you or, if I had, I’d have sat down and cried. Because this has been the most difficult year of my life.

Some would think of the whole thing as a sad coincidence. We get married and then I embark on the worst health journey I’ve had. So far in our marriage there have been 4 weeks when I’ve been pretty well. Not what we planned. One day we’re hoping to enjoy our honeymoon. It just keeps getting postponed. It’s been hard. Sometimes almost unbearably so. I won’t lie, there have been times when I’ve wished God would just take me home. It’s got to be better than a future of this. Even as I get better this time round, there’s a sadness because it’s only a matter of time until it all happens again.

But in the midst of the health rubbish, there’s a constant figure. And he’s my husband. This time last year, I was hearing him promise ‘in sickness and in health.’ We always knew that that would be our hard bit. Some people have money troubles but health, or rather the lack of it, is our thing. If I’m honest, I didn’t always believe David could do this. Oh, I never doubted his willing but I knew how little he knew about real life with me. But I underestimated him. And I’m so glad I did. All the time, I’m seeing more of his love and as I go deeper, I’m more amazed. David’s love for me is beautiful. When he brings me flowers and tells me he loves me. Or when he goes and gets the car so I don’t have to walk so far. Or when he hugs me when I cry. Or helps me shower in hospital. Or looks into my tired, ill eyes and tells me that I’m beautiful. And there’s more.

If you’d told me a year ago what this year would bring I would either have not believed you or, if I had, I’d have sat down and cried. But then I’d have picked up my bouquet and run as fast as I could to the church. Because if I knew then what I know now, I’d know that I needed to be married to David. I could never have done this on my own. God knew that. And so, in His kindness He gave me a sacrificial, loving man.

One year has gone and I love him more than ever. I can’t say I’m looking forward to all the next year will hold but in one thing I’m certain. There’s no one I’d rather share it with.

I love you, David.

6 thoughts on “A whole lot can happen in a year

  1. Oh Ruth – I better not show this to Pauline. She'd need a box of kleenex. It was a beautifully written piece demonstrating how God can be glorified in very trying conditions, and how he can make us grow and be tremendous encouragements to others.Thank you for sharing it. I am so glad you have found this love. May the Lord bless you, and others through you and David.
    Ferris

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  2. Oh Ruth – I better not show this to Pauline. She'd need a box of kleenex. It was a beautifully written piece demonstrating how God can be glorified in very trying conditions, and how he can make us grow and be tremendous encouragements to others.Thank you for sharing it. I am so glad you have found this love. May the Lord bless you both.
    Ferris

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  3. Happy anniversary. I found your blog yesterday and I have to say thank you for it, your writing has challenged me and convicted me about my own attitudes and the way I live and think. You are a good writer and thank you for sharing your faith.

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  4. Hello, My name is Natasha, Becsy Wells showed me your blog. I go to Amyand Park Chapel and my cousin has CF and I'm a carrier and soon getting the man I'm courting tested. I am praying for you and am so encouraged to hear how God has used David in your life to help, encourage and support you. Our Father is Sovereign!

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  5. Ruth, I'm so glad I found your blog (as I'm reading your words I hear them in a small and sweet British voice)! My uncle had CF (remarkly he defied all the odds by living into his 30s — when he was born the life expectancy was maybe 5 or 6 years) and even having son. When I graduated college I worked for CF Foundation for three years, raising money for a cure, and met many incredible children, adults and families living with CF and facing its daily challenges. Now that my cousins and I are older and will hopefully have our own children I sometimes wonder whether CF will affect my family again someday… if it does, I hope to face it with the grace and conviction that you obviously do.

    This post (and many others) resonated with me… not that my husband and I have faced nearly comparable struggles, but for the second time in our five year marriage I have lost my job and can relate to the feelings of not wanting to receive help, of feeling like this just isn't fair… but above all feeling like there is no other person I would want by my side through this journey and that faith is critical in seeing this through. Your husband is obviously a man of strength and faith and you two are blessed to have this strong marriage.

    Your writing is full of truth and grace and you and your soul are beautiful! Thank you for sharing so much and for — whether you know it or not — reminding us that life is a gift, and beautiful, and that every one of us can face each day with strength and grace and gratitiude and faith. Looking forward to reading more!

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  6. Leila, thank you.
    Thank you for your sweet words and your encouragement.
    And thank you for working for the CF Foundation and raising money for that longed-for cure.

    It's great to hear about your uncle and so amazing that he lived that long and had a child! I love hearing about people with CF who lived longer and better than the doctors thought possible.

    I'm so sorry for your job hardships. We seem to be given the things we find hardest and, while that helps us to grow and learn, it doesn't make it any easier! I'm so glad that you have your husband by your side to help you and that you have faith. I firmly believe that when we trust God, He gives us what we need to live faithfully through hard things.

    I'll be praying for you.
    Love,
    Ruth

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